Author: Lee Hausman

But Does The Queen Know?

Lee Hausman
 
I mentioned earlier in this blog that plans for the US restaurant chain Hooters to expand in the UK was causing some protest. I also mentioned that there we already four of them here and that they’d been doing business quietly without ruining their neighborhoods.
 
I didn’t know how close they were, though! I discovered during a visit to nearby Windsor that Hooters was already well-established in the major pedestrian shopping mall there, just down the hill from Windsor Castle (you can click the picture for a larger view):
 
 

Billy Elliot, The Musical

Lee Hausman
 
Yesterday I went into London and, with a visiting friend, went to see the musical Billy Elliot. It’s been running for the past three years at the Victoria Palace theatre, a great old place, very ornate, but with comfortable seats, good sightlines, and even air conditioning. The music for the show was composed by Elton John and had the sound and feel of his work rather than that of more traditional musical theatre scores. Of course, thanks to Lloyd Weber and company, what is traditional anymore?
 
The show’s story is that of a 12-year old boy from a coal mining family caught up in England’s 1984 Coal Miners Strike and his interest in becoming a ballet dancer and getting into the Royal Ballet School. So there’s plenty of strike warfare and family tension fronting rags-to-riches and homophobia themes. And, oh yes, Billy’s mom’s ghost appears periodically to urge him to follow his dreams. Schmaltz galore!
 
The performances were very good and the production is of a very high quality. The set design was clever, with lots of sliding wagons and under-stage elevators, and they even got in some faux snowfall. There was, of course, a huge amount of dancing and it was fun to see. Ballet, tap, and jazz – the cast looked like they were having a ball.
 
Our performance’s Billy was a fellow with a lot of gymnastic skill and many of his dance numbers included thinly-disguised tumbling runs; entertaining all the same, though. There was even an aerial bit but the all too obvious cable took much away from it. 
 
The title role is shared among four different child actors in rotation and the program revealed there have been 15 Billy’s in the last three years. Eight young girls perform as Billy’s classmates at the local ballet school and there’s an assortment of other children in the cast, as well. So – a good family show, eh? Well, no. First, there’s a ton of expletives in the script, coming out everyone’s mouths and, second, the teenage gender-orientation angst the script dwells on might be a bit much for younger kids. Definitely not Disney approved despite the feel-good setting.
 
The show was entertaining enough that the three hours (with one intermission) went by quickly. We sat in the Stalls (Orchestra) about 15 rows back and under the balcony but the sound system was excellent and we could hear every word, said or sung. We also had a good view of the slightly raked stage floor and the dancers’ feet – especially important for appreciating good tap.
 
The curtain call started out very weirdly with a clumsy cast bow and then went into what looked like a gratuitous dance number/encore they couldn’t fit in anywhere else. However, that soon became the real curtain call with individual, ensemble, and full cast bows. Despite the Elton John score, there was no signature song that we left the theatre humming.
 
There’s quite a good website for the show here: Billy Elliot The Musical. 
 

You Ain’t Nothin’ But a Hound Dog

Lee Hausman
 
As I may have mentioned, the nightlife here in Reading can be pretty strange. I encountered this group, assembling for a night on the town, yesterday evening and couldn’t resist taking their picture. If you can’t tell, except for the fellow all in white, they’re all wearing plastic Elvis hair, sideburns, and sunglasses.
 
They graciously asked me if I wanted to join them but I figured I’d just slow them down. 
 
It’s not too surprising, I guess. I’ve seen advertisements for several "Elvis Impersonator" shows that are touring Great Britain. More proof that some American “traditions” can be found clogging up many other cultures.
 
This reminds me of my days in Los Angles, many years ago, when I worked on a show called Elvis Forever featuring a fellow who claimed to be the "top Elvis impersonator in Las Vegas". It amazed me that middle-aged women in the audience would shriek like 10-year old girls and go nuts over this shortish guy onstage who really didn’t look at all like Elvis. But he could sing, and that show ran for months to packed houses.
 
During that project I, sadly, had to become intimately familiar with the entire Elvis oeuvre, watching all the movies and listening to the songs day after day to prepare and then hearing them again rehearsal after rehearsal for weeks. It took years to get all of those songs out of my head.
 
But I guess, compared to some of the brutal and demeaning genres of music popular today, such as gangsta rap, Elvis is sheer genius and as gentlemanly as it gets.
 
 

Jesters Do Oft Prove Prophets

Lee Hausman
 
I’ve just finished reading a biography of William Shakespeare, written by Bill Bryson. As you may know, Bryson is an American raised in England and the author of several well-received books, including A Walk in the Woods, his absolutely hilarious account of his attempt to walk the Appalachian Trail.
 
His biography of Shakespeare is well-written, very well-researched, and clears the air of the many myths, exaggerations, and lies about the great poet and playwright. Based on many official records, including those extant from Shakespeare’s time, it also offers an interesting look at Elizabethan and Jacobean England and the role of theatre in society.
 
One of the most interesting things this book reveals is the enormous contribution to English made by Shakespeare. He made up a surprising number of words and phrases for use in his works that have survived to become common usage today. Do you recognize any of these, first found in Shakespeare?
 
Antipathy, critical, frugal, dwindle, extract, horrid, vast, hereditary, excellent, eventful, barefaced, assassination, lonely, leapfrog, indistinguishable, well-read, zany. And countless others, including countless.
 
From the book: “He was particularly prolific when it came to attaching un- prefixes to existing words that no one had thought of before: unmask, unhand, unlock, untie, unveil and no fewer than 309 others in a similar vein”.
 
And how about these phrases: one fell swoop, vanish into thin air, bag and baggage, play fast and loose, go down the primrose path, be in a pickle, budge an inch, the milk of human kindness, remembrance of things past, cold comfort, to thine own self be true, salad days, flesh and blood, foul play, tower of strength, with bated breath, pomp and circumstance, foregone conclusion.
 
Fascinating! Bryson reckons Shakespeare single-handedly "produced roughly one tenth of all the most quotable utterances written or spoken in English since its inception". Bryson also, I think, lays to rest with authority, the question “was Shakespeare really written by Shakespeare.” I admit to having my thinking on this matter changed by the book (yes, the man from Stratford-upon-Avon wrote it all).
 
For those of you who, like me, have a theatre background, many of the things Bryson writes about will have a particular resonance.
 
This is a short book (just 200 pages), is an interesting and engaging read, and has been on the Best Sellers list in the US for a while. I heartily recommend it to you!
 
 

Imagine If I’d Chosen “Expedited Delivery”

Lee Hausman
 
Before coming to the UK, I was a frequent Internet shopper and an regular L.L. Bean customer. This last is partially due to the fact that I have an 18-inch neck and LLB is one of the few places where I can buy dress and sports shirts in that size without paying a horrendous premium. The unforseen side-effect of going to the gym too much.
 
So it was that, before leaving the US, I was careful to take note that LLB does ship to foreign customers. Three weeks ago, I decided to buy a few shirts, etc. from them and see how it worked. The upshot is I will not be buying anything that way again. Here’s why:
 
My goods cost $144, plus $35 for “International Airmail Shipping and Handling”, for a $179 total. Yesterday I received a letter from Parcel Force (the UPS-like branch of the Royal Mail Service here) notifying me of their intent to deliver a parcel shipped to me, from Sweden.
 
Sweden? A phone call or two revealed that this was, in fact, my L.L. Bean package coming to me from Maine, USA, via Sweden. Well, that’s certainly odd but, OK. And, by the way, there is a £32 Customs Duty fee due. That’s $64!
 
So my order actually cost me $144 + $35 shipping + $64 import duty, for a whopping $243! So, basically it cost me $100 to get $144 of merchandise here. So that will be my last L.L. Bean order from here.
 
In fairness to the folks from Maine, their website did clearly say on the last screen where you submit your order, that “Recipient is responsible for all local taxes and fees” or something like that. So, they did warn me. 
 
What I’d like to know is, does anyone ever place a second international order?
 

And Hot Dogs, Too

Lee Hausman
 
A very happy 4th of July, Independence Day, greeting to all the "former colonials" in my audience. My British acquaintances here (and even strangers, such as bartenders who pick up on my American accent) are well-aware that the 4th of July is a big holiday in the United States and many have mentioned it and wished me well today.
 
They’ve even taken my little joke about going down to the Thames and tossing in a few commemorative tea bags with good humor (although I wonder if the younger folks actually know anything about the Boston Tea Party).
 
I’ve been more struck by the fact that my acquaintances here seem very sympathetic that I’m not home for this big holiday. In reality, though, I categorize Thanksgiving and Christmas well ahead of the 4th of July as family-oriented holidays.
 
Somewhere today I’m sure expat Americans are gathering (probably in London) for a big party but the Internet was useless in helping me find out about it. Another case of an Internet search returning waaay too much information, much of it only loosely-related to the desired results.
 
Light up a sparkler for me, my friends, and I’ll be thinking of the Red, White, and Blue.
 

A Definite Distraction

Lee Hausman
 
One of my favorite local bar/restaurants is Zero Degrees, a brew pub that makes its delicious Black Lager on site. The food and service are excellent as well. I should also mention that they have a rather remarkably decorated men’s loo (bathroom), and I thought I’d share the details with you:
 
   
 
In case the photo details are not too clear, the women in the pictures feature a cell phone camera, a measuring tape, amused looks, a medical chart, and a cleaver!
 
In case you’re wondering if the womens’ loo is decorated with similar creativity, during their visit my step-daughters reported that it’s not. Shameful discrimination!
 
 

They’re Just Crazy About It

Lee Hausman

I thought I’d expend a few bytes discussing the popularity of football (soccer) here. To the non-native observer (me), it’s stupendous. There’s just no way to overstate it. I’m not sure Americans can appreciate it, though, simply because there is no analogous sports structure in the US.

In American football, the NFL basically divides itself into the AFC and NFC for the purpose of faux regional conflict and 32 teams play each other for one season, culminating in the hype-filled Super Bowl. The schedule is set, the teams are known, and the only mystery is who will be invited to the Pro Bowl. The owners collude with each other in a cozy, $7bn club, granted anti-trust immunity by a bought-and-paid-for Congress. Money comes first, sport second.

Here it’s quite different. The team owners don’t look like the Board of Directors of Soccer, Inc. The Brits and Europeans have many different professional leagues and competitions, seemingly lasting year-round, and crossing international borders.

For example, in the UK there’s the Football League, Premiership League, Champions League, League One, and League Two. In Europe, there’s UEFA EURO 2008, UEFA Champions League, and the UEFA Cup. Each European country has its own leagues and then there’s the FIFA World Cup every four years. Talk about rich and diverse competition! It makes the NFL seem down right inbred.

In addition, in the UK (and probably in Europe) there are several lower tiers of semi-pro football leagues. These have a status, history, serious facilities, and local following that’s unlike anything in the American football scheme. It’s a bit like the minor leagues in US baseball, actually. Altogether there are 485 pro and semi-pro teams in the UK alone.

In the UK, as in many sports leagues around the world (but not the US), promotion and relegation is a process that takes place at the end of each season in which teams are transferred between divisions. The best-ranked teams in each division are promoted to the next-highest division, and at the same time the worst-ranked teams in the higher division are relegated (or demoted) to the lower division. Now there’s incentive for you! A local semi-pro team was recently relegated to a lower division and they announced a drop in season ticket prices as a result. Imagine the Redskins doing that after a bad season.

This all breeds a huge interest in football (soccer) here. It often dominates the media, the TVs in every pub and restaurant, and the news. It’s not unusual for an issue of the London Times to devote 12-15 full pages exclusively to football. In the US, the NFL keeps a legal death-grip on the rights to broadcast anything about US football; here, stations frequently broadcast independent coverage of local and national teams. And matches are shown live, in prime time, all the time.

UK acquaintances here have asked why Americans call the Super Bowl the "world championship" of American football, when teams from only one country compete. Good question.

 

Golf in England

Lee Hausman
 
I finally got to play some golf here; it was definitely a case of “be careful what you wish for”!
 
Background: my colleague and I were invited by a customer to join him at his golf club for their Pro-Am Tournament. Sounded like fun. The customer is an older gent, so I envisioned us riding in power carts, having fun, not taking the golf too seriously, and being treated to a nice, private club course. 
 
Two days before the date, our host called in sick due to gout (!) but said he’d arranged for another member to join us.
 
We when arrived, the course turned out to be “one of the longest in England”, designed by Harry Vardin himself in 1922. Left-to-right sloping narrow fairways, bunkers galore, knee-high rough on all sides, and greens as hard and slick as Masonite. Uh-oh…
 
The tournament works like this: the one Pro in each foursome was competing against the other Pros for the 1,000 Pound prize (serious money). We three amateurs were a team, each playing our own ball but recording the lowest of our scores per hole, competing against the amateurs in other foursomes. This team arrangement, however, means if you lose a ball in the wicked rough or hit it out of bounds, you are done playing for that hole. In regular play, you can add a penalty stroke (or two) to your score then drop a new ball and play on, but this tournament rule made you a spectator for the rest of the hole, which is no fun.
 
Our Pro was a 32-year old (did I mention he was a scratch golfer?) and our substitute host was a 34-year old who carried his bag and plays there twice weekly. Both very nice guys. However, merely asking about the availability of power carts was met with the disdain reserved for WWI veterans, “Nancy-boys”, and the French. So, no power cart for us; my colleague and I pulled our bags on trolleys (pull-carts). We all teed off from the rear-most tees, which were so far back that, literally, in every tee box, you could not stand two feet behind the markers and still be in the tee box!
 
The weather was perfectly English: completely overcast, about 55-degrees, and looking all day like hard rain at any minute (though it never did). There was also a nearly-constant 20mph wind, with hat-removing gusts.
 
Our very late tee time, 2:20pm, in a tourney that started at 8:00am, ensured there were no refreshments left by the time we got to the hospitality tents along the course and the snack cart was also cleaned out.
 
Now, do I really need to go into how badly I played, after 6 months off? How much time I spent fruitlessly looking in the rough for my ball? My best hole: a double-bogey. By Hole #5, I was thinking “Bataan Death March” and wondering if I would make it through all 18 holes. We didn’t finish until 8:00pm!
 
We were not in any danger of being competitive, as our host member had a bad day, too. And, our Pro didn’t do so well, either, so everyone was happy. 
 
The following day, I felt like I’ve been massaged all over with a baseball bat. Muscles I didn’t know I had were hurting and I was so exhausted that night that I couldn’t get to sleep.
 
Golf in England: it can only get better next time.
 
 

It’s So Very French

Lee Hausman
I recently switched cars, from a rented Vauxhall Astra to a leased brand new Peugeot 207. The former is an English brand, the latter French. There’s some confusion about it but “Peugeot” appears to be pronounced either “pah-joe” (U.K.) or “pooh-zhoe” (U.S.). Peugeot doesn’t have the best reputation but this year’s model got stellar marks on the car review web sites.
 
The Vauxhall is a medium-sized car, which I got used to despite its size in this country’s small lanes and parking spaces, while the Peugeot is in the somewhat smaller class called “super-mini”. The idea that the back seat of the Peugeot “seats three”, as the advertising says, might be feasible if they mean three 8-year olds. Nonetheless, there’s plenty of room behind the wheel for someone my size and the Peugeot’s a good fit.
 
The pictures above show the Vauxhall, left, and the Peugeot, right.
 
The Vauxhall was an automatic (unusual in England and primarily found on rental cars) and it was very helpful not to have to deal with shifting while getting acclimated to driving here. The Peugeot is a 5-speed manual shift and, so far, I’ve had no problems driving it now that I’m used to English traffic.
 
You may remember that I had hoped to lease a Mercedes A150 but, alas, they were not available for short-term leases.
 
My Peugeot, which is the standard (not luxury) model, does have some interesting features:
  • With an eye again to tight parking quarters, the side mirrors automatically fold in when you lock the car.
  • There’s a dial on the dash to adjust the headlight focus up or down. Imagine how that would be abused in the U.S!
  • The front doors have fancy, automatic up/down power windows; the rear doors have hand cranks.
  • The doors do not have individual door lock plungers or buttons. A button on the dash locks/unlocks all doors.
  • Tire pressures and the engine oil level are electronically-monitored and displayed on the dash.
  • The RDS (Radio Data System) digital radio is the European equivalent of XM Radio in the U.S.
  • Gas consumption averages a delightful 45 mpg. Why can’t they do that in the US?
I’ll be taking a four-hour drive up to Liverpool for The British Open in July and I’m looking forward to the road trip in the Peugeot.