Category: Living in the UK 2008

 

The London Times reported today that Brian Grazer, Oscar-winning producer of The Da Vinci Code, American Gangster, and A Beautiful Mind, is looking for a new "personal cultural attaché". This from an email advertising the job: “This person is responsible for keeping Mr. Grazer abreast of everything that’s going on in the world, political, cultural, and musical. They’re also responsible for finding an interesting person for Mr. Grazer to meet every week, an astronaut, philosopher, monk, someone who’s made an impression in their field”. My favorite part: “Mr. Grazer may ask you to read any book he’s interested in and tell him about it.” It’s come to this, folks: the rich hiring others to read books for them. A walking, breathing Cliff Notes for the elite. Go figure.

 

The job pays $80K but don’t get your hopes up. You’ll be competing against others such as Ed Cooke, 26, a philosophy and psychology grad student at Oxford University who recently failed to make the cut. Among his other qualifications, Cooke came in 7th in this year’s World Memory Championships (the winner correctly remembered the order of every card in 54 inter-shuffled decks that he had only looked through once), speaks three languages fluently, and studies the "philosophy of Rugby".

 

 

 

 

Three weeks ago the press here went wild with the story of Shannon Matthews, a nine-year old girl from Dewsbury who never made it home after swim practice at school. The story unfolded in the all too depressingly-familiar way of child abductions: CCTV camera footage examined, hundreds of police scouring the neighboring areas and dragging the local pond, door-to-door interviews with locals, and sad televised appeals from the parents. The effort to find her was massive: more than 200 homes within a half-mile radius of the girl’s home were searched, 300 officers were assigned to the case, and half of the police dogs in England capable of detecting corpses were brought in. As the days wore on, grim reminders from “police consultants” that the chances of finding the girl alive diminished with every passing day were broadcast.

 

I got the gist of what was going on (the media coverage was so large you just couldn’t miss it) but didn’t really delve into the details. Last Friday, 24 days after her disappearance, the story took an unexpected by happy turn with the announcement that Shannon had been found alive and unharmed. Wow – a storybook ending?

 

Maybe not. Today, I sat down with the paper and got the details. The first thing that caught my eye was that Shannon had not been joyfully reunited with her parents after being rescued but was instead now in protective care. The second was that the police found her at the apartment of the uncle of her mom’s current boyfriend. The divorced uncle had recently lost the right to visit his daughters, who live with their mother. The authorities decided that returning Shannon to her mother, 32, who lives with the six other children she’s had with five different fathers and is now dating a 22-year old, might not be the best thing to do. Ya think?

 

Let’s hope the child somehow recovers from the trauma of it all.

 

 

 

Before coming across "the pond" I’d read that business behavior in the UK can be a bit more formal that our relaxed US ways. So I was surprised to see that one flavor of business outfit quite common here, especially with younger guys, is a nice suit but no tie. I can understand a sports coat and no tie but a nice pin-striped suit with a dress shirt and then no tie looks really odd to my eye. Not that I’m a clothes horse or fashion hound in any way, mind you, far from it, but the combination of formality (suit) and informality (no tie) seems more relaxed than a pair of jeans, in a business setting.

 

I went over to Windsor (yes, where the Castle is) last Tuesday to meet with our business accountants and put on my own Navy Blue, pin-striped, Evan Picone suit and burgundy tie and felt quite good about it. I fit right in other there with the CPAs and, who knows, I may just do it more often.

 

By the way, and speaking of Windsor, I’ve always been aware of 3 ways to tie a tie (four-in-hand, Windsor, half-Windsor), but I found that Wikipedia says there are 85 possible knots! Who knew!

 

 

I’ve spent a little more time soaking up Pub Life and even did a little research on pub-review web sites. You knew there had to be several of these sites, right? My favorite site is one about local Reading pubs written by a couple of young guys whose ratings are generally worthless but hilarious. Unlike most restaurant reviewers who are meticulous about their facts, these two often get so toasted that they can’t remember what brews or how many pints they’ve had. Achieving this state alone, in their reviews, equates to having had a good time, which means the pub merits a good rating.

 

There are corporate pubs, parts of well-run national chains, which are OK in their way, and there are more traditional pubs: small and homey, with upholstered chairs, a fire in the fireplace, that kind of ambiance, easily allowing you to believe that the publican (operator) and his family do actually live upstairs. Last evening I was in The Red Lion down the street and the owner’s young daughter (maybe 8-10 years old) was dashing around, in and out behind the bar, clearly at home. The whole atmosphere at a place like this is much more relaxed than at a US bar. Relatively recent no-smoking laws have gone into place, so pubs are now smoke-free.

 

Some pubs just serve drinks and do not serve food at all (reminds me of a few dives I used to frequent in Georgetown during my college days). This sounds to me like a recipe for what the Brits call “anti-social behavior”. Others sell tasty pub food that goes down well with your pint. Some serve lagers with names you’ll know such as Coors, Corona, and Stella Artois (did you recognize that last name, by the way? Stella turns out to be the third largest selling beverage in the UK – right behind Coke and bottled water). Some pubs also sell ales, also known as traditional ales or Real Ale. These are the less fizzy brews, served just slightly chilled (not warm or at room temp, as you may have heard), that are “pumped” up from the basement using a long-handled tap. These are also the ones with the nifty names, such as Tanglefoot, Bread of Heaven, and Dirty Tackle, that I like so much. A pint is $3-5 depending on time of day and the brew.

 

It seems that real ales are in retreat in the brew market and so some folks have banded together to create CAMRA (Campaign for Real Ale) which boasts 85,000 members. They’ve enlisted pubs across the country to run real ale festivals and to promote the traditional brews. You can check out their web site here: http://www.camra.org.uk

 

Pubs do also serve beverages other than beer, including wine (often from taps), soft drinks, lemonade, alcoholic ciders, and mixed drinks. When you order a “mixed” drink, such as bourbon and water, the barman actually puts your shot into a tall glass and, at the bar, you add water from a pitcher to suit your taste. Remember, all of the ordering is done at the bar in pubs, even if you’re sitting at a table across the room, and it’s strictly self-serve.

 

Stay tuned: more fascinating, semi-sloshed pub observations to come later.

 

My kitchen incudes a number of typical British appliances, all small enough to fit below the counter. These include the refrigerator/freezer, dishwasher, oven/microwave, and combo clothes washer/dryer. The microwave is a combination microwave, broiler, convection oven but not really an oven in the baking sense. One sort of roasts a frozen pizza in the convection oven rather than baking or heating it (works OK, though the browning is not all you’d like).

 

The washer/dryer is small (11 lbs. max load wash, 5.5 lbs dry – a pair of my jeans can weigh 3 lbs) and illustrates the European commitment to conserving energy. It allows you to select a variety of water temperatures (in actual degrees, not just Hot or Cold) and even the spin cycle speeds, in RPM. It also uses a lot less water and takes a lot longer to do its job. For example, a recent washing then drying of two pairs of Levis and a few tee shirts took 5 hours to complete. The soap for this and the dishwasher comes in little bricks reminiscent of a giant Pez candy.

 

What we would call the "stove" in the US is called a Hob here and mine is the "ceramic cooktop" type (a smooth surface that heats in four circular areas, with no flame and no exposed heating elements). I don’t know if it’s because this is a rental property or if this is common, but there are circuit breakers along the wall in the kitchen, with red indicator lights, clearly labeled, for each of the appliances.

 

Perhaps the most important appliance in the place is the kettle. How many movies have you seen set in England where someone says "I’ll put the kettle on"? I always imagined them running into the kitchen to put the steel water kettle on the stove to warm it up. I chalked up the fact that the water was always ready so quickly to the application of "Hollywood time" to reality. Whenever I heat water on the stove it takes a long time (or forever, if I stand and watch).

 

But no, that’s not what they meant at all. The Kettle, in my kitchen and I’m given to believe generally here in England, is actually a nice stainless steel appliance the size and shape of a multi-quart water pitcher with a great big electric immersion heater in it. It heats a quart of water to full rolling boil in about 20 seconds (remember that the electricity here is 220V, which helps power the immersion heater efficiently) so water is ready for tea almost before you can get the tea pot and cups out. There are, of course, whole web sites devoted to the proper use and maintenance (regular de-scaling is very important) of your electric kettle.

 

What appliances that I’m used to are missing? Well, for one, there’s no disposal so I’m having to learn about not putting stuff down the drain with the abandon I’m gotten accustomed to in the last 15 years. I’m used to having a gas stove but the hob works just fine (it has the drawback of all ceramic cooktops in that it’s hard to tell if the surface is still hot after use). There’s also no toaster oven; I could buy one but I think I can get by with the toaster supplied with the apartment.

 

Overall, the kitchen is perfect for my small needs and easy to keep clean, too. Besides, with a "Chip Shop" (Fish and Chips) just across the street, where they hand you fresh cod or haddock cooked in a light batter and surrounded by the greasiest fries on the planet, doused with vinegar and wrapped in two layers of butcher paper, how often does one need to cook, anyway? Is that the sound of my cardiologist crying?

 

 

 

It occurred to me today, while walking back from the grocery store, that while I have seen people walking their dogs here, I have seen absolutely zero dog poop on the sidewalks. I’m not sure what accounts for this (maybe the British are more civilized) but it’s very nice. I’ve also seen very few bugs. Yeah, sure, the weather has something to with that and I have seen bug zappers in stores, but I have yet to see any critters without wings.

 

What I have seen a lot of is door stops. Door stops? Yes, those rubbery wedges intended to keep a door open are on sale everywhere. It seems that British fire regulations require most interior doors in homes and apartments built or upgraded since 1975 to be fitted with interior spring mechanisms that automatically close them. So the doors will swing shut on their own all the time. In addition, a door of this kind is required between major spaces and hallways (your living room and front hall, for example).  This turns your home into a dark warren of closed-off rooms and so, door stops have become essential household items.

 

 

My new apartment is very nice and I’m happy with it. It’s technically a serviced apartment which means that I get weekly maid and linen service. What’s not to like? This was intended as a mere way point between a hotel and a normal apartment but the deal proved so attractive that my company (which is footing the bill) just decided to leave me here for the duration. The apartments are actually named "Number 18" and you can see their web site here: http://www.number-18.co.uk

 

Now if my personal goods will just show up! They were shipped Monday from Northern Virginia via FedEx and, with my customary level of preparation, all of the appropriate UK Customs forms were duly filled out and provided. So I was a bit puzzled when the FedEx van pulled up yesterday and delivered just 2 of 12 boxes.

 

After some calls and online sleuthing, it appears that the 10 other boxes are hung up in Her Majesty’s Customs at the Stanstead airport north of London. Why the two boxes that were delivered yesterday passed right on through, no one knows, but apparently it’s not unusual. I’ve left my new mobile phone number with FedEx and hope to hear something from them soon. I can just imagine the FedEx airport staff using my golf clubs right now to whack balls around their hangar!

 

It’s fun to look at the FedEx Tracking web site and see where my stuff went: McLean to Dulles to Indianapolis to Stanstead. Never would have guessed it would go via Indiana in a million years.

 

The new digs are about 5 minutes on foot from our office, a very nice commute indeed. I’ve inserted a little map of Reading so that you can see the general layout. From my place to the train station is about a 15-minute walk, so we’re not talking about a huge area. London is a 25-minute train ride away (under optimum conditions). In case the map resolution isn’t good enough for you, the yellow spot is my apartment and the green one is the office. The Oracle Mall is a large modern retail mall that straddles with Kennett River.

  

As soon as I moved in at the beginning of the week and had an official address, one of the first things I did was go to the Reading Central Library to get a library card. I thought this might be a bit dicey as I had no ID with my address on it and no utility bills (which are commonly used to establish residence in order to get a library card).

 

As I feared, without the requisite ID, I was not allowed to become a Full Member, but I could be come a Junior Member which simply means I’m limited to checking out two books and two DVDs at a time. Fine with me. Ahh, libraries; what great institutions! There is just something so universal about the culture of the book. It has been great to be able to settle down this week with a good mystery book in the evenings.

 

Some of you have asked about the earthquake here the other night. It was a 5.2 strength quake centered due north of London, about halfway to Scotland, at 1:00 am our time but there was little effect here in Reading. I did wake up but it was one of those non-events where you wake up but you don’t know why. So I went right back to sleep. Some other folks here reported much the same: a creaking in their ceiling, a rattle in the yard. No one I’ve talked to here has mentioned the salt and pepper shakers dancing off the table or anything like that. It did cause some damage elsewhere in England (collapsing chimneys and such) and I think a child was killed. It was the strongest quake here in 25-30 years.

 

Next: Mystery Appliances

My new business title is a work-in-progress at the moment as we try to figure out the cultural nuances. I read a funny story about a fella who was a new and low-level functionary in a large, well-known US company that did business in Japan. He was having trouble figuring out what his title was but had to go on a business trip to Japan, so he had his new business cards printed without a title on them. When he got to Japan and started handing his cards out, he suddenly found himself being treated like an emperor. Turns out, with their typical less-is-more outlook, having no title on your card in Japan means you are sooo important, so high up, that everyone in your company knows who you are and what your title is. He got the red carpet treatment due to this misunderstanding. Hmm… think maybe I should leave my new cards without a title? Sadly, I don’t think the Brits operate in the same way as the Japanese.

 

I’ve noticed that few business, or even the malls, here in Reading have the "airlock"-style vestibule you find in the U.S. to prevent heat loss as people pass through exterior doors. Instead, in cold weather, they just keep their stores at about 85-degrees to offset the rush of cold air that comes in with every customer. Very oddly fuel-inefficient in a country that is generally otherwise.

 

This door observation came to me as I was sitting having a panini for lunch at a little shop. I’ve also noticed that most commercial doors swing in, not out as in the States. In the U.S. this doors-open-out thing is a part of the national fire code, designed to ensure that people can exit quickly. This part of the fire code came about due to the Great Iroquois Theatre Fire of 1903 in Chicago, during which stampeding people trying to flee the burning theatre jammed up against the inside of the exit doors, preventing them from being opened inward. Where do I get these arcane bits of information? I learned this from LaVahn Hoh in his technical theater class at the UVA Drama School – his annual lecture on this fire was a widely attended and highly-anticipated event.

 

 

 

What you see at the left is the Upin Arms pub. As another blogger here in Reading pointed out, English pubs have some great names: Back of the Beyond, Hobgoblin, The Monk’s Retreat, The Nobody Inn, and my current favorite: The Cuckoo Bush (from the 13th Century so definitely no reference to current politics).

 

Pub life is an amazing phenomenon here is the UK and there are countless web sites that review pubs and beers. It’s not analogous to the "neighborhood bar" in the U.S. exactly; there’s a large cultural thing going on here. I’ll have to do more research before filing a comprehensive report; yes, yes, it’s a tough job but someone’s got to do it! 

 

  

I attended the King Tut exhibit at The O2 in London recently. The O2 is that funny-looking domed structure with all the rods coming out its roof that you may have seen in movies. It turns out to be a huge tent – the dome is material like heavy canvas and the inside is a rigging miracle. Underneath this vast tent there are real brick-and-mortar restaurants and other buildings. The King Tut exhibit was in one of them; my timed-entry ticket allowed me to get in a long queue 30 minutes ahead of time and trickle forward (which I thought timed-entry tickets were supposed to help alleviate). The exhibit itself was a bit short on actual King Tut artifacts, instead containing a lot of things from the tombs of his relatives and peers. But hey, anytime you get to see a gilt coffin up close, you can’t complain, even if it belonged to King Tut’s mother-in-law. It’s always a thrill to be able to put your nose a few inches away from something that was crafted by hand 3,500 years ago!

 

Did I mention that there are four casino’s on the same street as my hotel? Not your Vegas-scale operations, but with all the gambling your wallet can stand nonetheless. They’re not real flashy on the outside either, no neon (sorry Robert), but they’re clearly casino’s. I didn’t go inside but a glimpse through the door revealed they have digital slot machines and poker. These are in addition to the several plain, old betting parlors in Reading, too, which are much more like the OTB in New York and are mostly sports- and racing-oriented.

 

Next: Moving into my apartment

 

 

I‘ve taken up residence for a week in a hotel in Reading and have had success in arranging an apartment for myself, available next week. The next task will be to find an office space, which I hope to do this morning.

 

My hotel is in the "city centre" or downtown area, which is relatively small and includes sections where the streets are closed off for pedestrian use only. With the exception of a few churches and the odd castle tower, the city center is relatively modern and the Lords of Burger King, Subway, and McDonalds are well-represented. Nearby is the mall I mentioned in my last post, "The Oracle", which is the size of Tysons Corners and sits on both sides of the Kennett River, which flows neatly past nicely-designed sidewalks and outdoor cafe seating.

 

I encounter the charmingly odd aspects of British life every day. For example, when your National Rail Service (not subway) train comes to a stop, in order to exit, you must lower the door window, reach outside, and  use the outside door handle to open the door. Just like you see them doing in 1940s movies! There is no inside handle and I’ve only seen one or maybe two platform attendants available to help people disembark, so you’re very much expected to handle (pardon the pun) this on your own.

 

I almost had my first brush with the National Health Service as a result of this train door business: when I arrived in Reading with my luggage last Sunday, I disembarked and, as no one else followed, closed the door behind me. Noticing the up-down sliding window was still down, I grasped its top edge and pulled up to close it. It turned out to be counter-weighted and flew up on its own, smashing three of my fingers. I saw stars, I can tell you! No bones turned out to be broken and some cold water soaking helped keep most of the swelling down, but even today I’m sporting a lovely black and blue look on those digits.

 

Here are some Life-in-the-UK tidbits from my daily observations:

 

For those of you into RSS feeds, note that this blog can be subscribed to, using the RSS icon in the upper left-hand corner of the page.

 

Sometimes dreams do come true and then, well, you just better watch out!

 

I have been posted to England by my employer, to establish a subsidiary company in the UK and open an international office. After several changes of mind, we have settled on Reading (pronounced "Redding") as the location for our office and my new home. Forget the PBS Masterpiece Theatre image of Reading as a quaint little one-street town with a pub just down from the vicar’s house. Reading is a town of 50,000 about 40 miles west of London in the Thames River Valley and has both a vehicle-free city center with winding old streets and one of the largest malls in England. We chose Reading because its real estate is cheaper than London’s by a factor of 10 and it’s home to many UK IT firms, including Oracle and Microsoft (who has 5,500 employess here).

 

I’ve spend my first week getting to know Reading and inspecting "serviced offices" and "serviced apartments". These are fully-equipped places that give you everything you need to get going quickly. We’re zero-ing on both office and apartment and I hope we will be able to close the deal on both early this coming week. A local business development group has been helping show me around and make introductions, which has been invaluable.

 

Once I get out of the hotel and into my serviced apartment (where I expect to stay for 3-6 months) I’ll have my meager household goods shipped over. These consist of 10 boxes of clothes and computers, my golf clubs, and a guitar; all I really need for a year.

 

I want to thank my many friends who were so generous with their good wishes and assistance leading up to my departure from the U.S. I suppose it has still not quite sunk in yet for me that I’m not just on another vacation trip. So far, I’m quite happy to be here and all has gone smoothly. I have been able to stay in close contact with HQ in McLean due to the excellent quality of my Internet connection at the hotel.

 

Next in the queue (see those British-isms are creeping in already): figuring out how to buy or lease a car!